The evil that shall not be eaten

So, the large family we have all decided to take a day out and go to the beach for Labor day weekend.  And so far I am the only one brave enough to blog about our horror. One the way home, we decided to just stop in at some out of the way place we found along the way… while sometimes this is fun and adventurous. This is not always the case.

As we pulled into The Logger… somewhere along highway 30… and that is as close to a location as I feel safe giving you as we hope and pray our readers are not inflicted with such culinary horrors. Do you see how much we love you, our dear readers?

As per usual, I tried the Chicken Fried Steak.  I do have to say, I have never had a chicken fried steak that was sweet and tangy. I am not sure how to make country gravy sweet. I swear it tasted just a little like lemon. The fries were ok though… the ones that didn’t have gravy on them. Sleepy Ginger got a hamburger steak… at least that is what the menu called it. It came with packet gravy, mushy onions and rice pilaf the consistency of baby food.  And Apocalypse Mom had a seafood platter. Half of which was burned beyond edibility and the other half has been referred to as “deep fried death from the sea.” The kidlets got a variety of burgers. But the biggest testament to the horror that is The Logger… Not one of use escaped this particular dining experience without some type of digestive problem that haunted our next few days.

So, if you are driving the length of Highway 30, dear readers, and you see the small restaurant at the blinking caution light in the middle of nowhere… keep driving… I promise there is better food choices on your path. 

Cartlandia (Food cart pre-crawl)

Saturday was a day of grand plans, a little bit of compromise. But everything turned out well. Redneck Widow and myself were to be picked up by PainterLady and BellaBabe for a day of picking over the bones of a dying clothing store chain. Sad for the chain, good for us. I did the math and over 5 trips to the stores (spread out over a 3 week period) I acquired some $1,500 retail value of clothes for roughly $175. Completely revamped my wardrobe and without breaking the bank. Very, very, happy girl here. But you're not here to read about my shopping finesse.

We met up at about lunch time and after a fortifying stop at Dutch Brothers for caffeine (all hail the Dutch) we were on our way. Our goals were the Clackamas location, Eastport Plaza location, and then MAYBE the Cascade Station location if there was time before returning the Gresham Wunderland for a cheap seats showing of Snow White and the Huntsman and then dinner at the Olive Garden for their endless pasta bowl…Mmmm Pasta.

That was our goal. That was not what happened. The Clackamas location was LOOOOONG gone. The storefront empty, most of the signage removed. So on our way to the Eastport Plaza location we swung into Cartlandia, despite Redneck Widow’s misgivings. One thing Cartlandia has up on other food cart pods I’ve been to is the available parking, very nice.

BellaBabe and I led the charge, up and around the carts, investigating menus, what sounds best, what sounded good… Samples? Sure!

After walking the entire loop and inspecting every menu we settled on splitting a margherita pizza eith white sauce from Krust Artisanal Pizza and a couple of pasties (one Traditional and one Cheese and Onion) from the London Pasty Company while PainterLady and RedneckWidow had hotdogs and fries from Relish Gourmet Hotdogs.

BellaBabe and I ordered the pizza first and then headed across the way to the Pasty cart. The owner of the London Pasty Company was very helpful and understanding about our questions involving the ingredients (allergy issues) and very cheerful with a mesmerizing accent. Which is always fun. Also very emphatic about liking them on Facebook, which in this modern social media age I suppose I understand.

PainterLady and RedneckWidow found a shady table near Relish where they could listen for their orders to be completed. Both were telling us about the sweet couple who owned the cart saving up for a wedding and how very nice they were. Our pizza was delivered to the table and we took the requisite (now apparently gone) photos before digging in.

The pizza had a cracker style crust that seemed to have been pre-cooked and warm sauce ladled on (a bit heavy for our tastes) and then the sliced mozzerella was allowed to "melt" in the residual warmth from the sauce. The tomatoes were cold. BellaBabe and I thought back to Pyro Pizza's crispy crust, hunks of artisinal mozzerella and heat toasted basil... This was not what we wanted. On to the pasties!

Sad, so sad. The "Traditional" was as dry and flavorless as saw dust and left us begging for water. We were hoping for a moist filling with thickened gravy, no such luck. It didn't even appear that gravy had ever been involved in the equation. The Onion and Cheese was.. Well is was overly cheesy mashed potatoes stuffed into a pastry shell. It was a baked pierogie. It was... bland.

So while I know it doesn't excuse the tardiness of this post, remembering this experience was sad.

The highlight of the trip was PainterLady's garlic cheese fries, so good. But I'll let RedneckWidow share her portion of the journey.

Until next time, be tasty!

Lead us not into temptation... (For it tastes NASTY!) (Culinary Quest 8.2.11)

I know, I know, I know! I'm a bad bad blog girl. Sue me. No really don't. I don't have anything.

In light of many things, including a rather epic trip (WORLDCON BABY!) in *gulp* 15 days, I've been living on the tight side, eating in, at friends' places, or on the very very cheap. My mind is too full of gotta buy, gotta find, gotta packs to really focus on blogging. 

As you may recall from my last post I've become aware that I'm ignoring the restaurants in my neighborhood. This can not stand.

But how to explore the local culinary scene while still saving every available penny for WorldCon? The answer is Restaurant.com. Rather, it appeared to be the answer. With seemingly monthly 80% off sales on restaurant gift certificates it seemed to be a good way to explore the area on the cheap. So back February I dropped about $20 of real money and ended up with $250 in Restaurant.com money. The way it works (usually) is you pay a certain amount and end up with a certificate for $25 off your bill of $35 or more, including an 18% tip. Sounds pretty sweet right?

To date I've used 3. Two at Brother's Crawfish (great food, bad picture lighting. We'll go back and blog about it I promise.) and one on last Friday (July 29th) at Aladdin's Cafe.

Let me paint you a picture... Happy Friday! Its hot, beastly hot. Nothing sounds better than hiding in some air conditioning for an hour or two. BellaBabe and I decide to "splurge" and see Green Lantern at McMenamin's Bagdad theater for $3 a ticket. Whoot for cheap! We arrived at the theater about 20 minutes before the show was supposed to start, thinking to get a pizza and some tots to share during the show. Complete mission failure! They had one person behind the counter taking and assembling orders. The line was epic, the previews were starting... Dilemma! We decided to eat after the show and dashed into the theater to grab seats.

The movie was great! Ryan Reynolds is a sarcastic bastard and I love it, what can I say? BellaBabe and I kept up our running commentary (yes, we're those people who talk in theaters. The tickets cost $3, suck it.) and at the end we were satisfied with our entertainment and giggling in sisterly glee.

After the show, we're hungry, we're wandering Hawthorne, we're spit balling ideas... Suddenly I remember my restaurant.com certificate stash. There are three choices relatively near our house, lets explore somewhere new...

After a little debate (and the fact that I can't find one of the certificates) we decide to try out Aladdin's Cafe. I call ahead to make sure they still take the certificate (ALWAYS CALL AHEAD TO CHECK!) and they do. So off we go.

My excitement over trying new food is slightly dimmed by the dingy strip mall location, but there are many loyal diners (identified by the suspicious glares tossed at the "newbies") so we press on.

Let me point out, this isn't a cultural difference/ foreign flavors distaste. We adore Nicholas on Broadway. I know that if I order the Stephen's Chicken I'm getting at least two if not three meals out of it. And the Gyro? Forget about it. Three meals easy. Not to mention their AMAZING pita bread and humus.

We ordered the humus appetizer. I decided on the combination kabob (kafta and lamb) and BellaBabe bit the bullet and went for the Special of the day, Mansaf — Cooked yogurt with lamb.

I don't want to get into details because... Well I don't want to make myself sick. It's enough to say that (with their lovely open kitchen) I got to watch the cook overcook my lamb twice, the kafta kabob was practically charcoal, the "basmati" rice that came with both dinners was overcooked, I suspect came out of a box, and BellaBabe's portion held the shape of the pan they stored it in... Seriously. As for "The Special"? I'll throw in a pic.

That is curdled yogurt ladies and gentleman. The mouth feel was grainy and disgusting...
We declined dessert and ran home to kill any potential food poisoning with alcohol. (I know it doesn't really work that way, but after that nastiness... Liquor was required.)

Now I'm crossing my fingers for our text attempt... Until then, happy eating!

Lunch with the Boss (Culinary Quest 08.12.11)

Lunch with the Boss

I've been debating whether or not I wanted to blog this; I have no pics, and wasn't really impressed. But I consulted the Facebook peoples and the one person who responded (Thank you Mama Unit) said it must be so. And here we go.

My department at work typically which typically runs on 6 people has been running on 3-4 for the last two months now. As one of those 3-4 (for one memorable week 2) people I've been putting in a good bit of overtime. Since my job qualifies as sedentary to light level occupation I'm not so much physically tired as my brain turns to pudding. Funny what 10 hour days will do to your mind, isn't it? Two weeks ago the boss decided to take the three of us to lunch, we just had to pick where.

Personally I usually bring leftovers from home or eat in the cafeteria... On rare occasions when I have cash I'll hike over to the No Fish! Go Fish! cart or down to the food cart pod, but those occasions are very rare indeed. So I bowed out of the lunch location selection. Amusingly enough one of my co-workers had just that morning been complaining that she "always had to pick the restaurant" when she went out with her family. So with malicious glee we all cried "Not it!" in unison and left her with the choice... Muahahahahaha!

Okay, enough with the glee. The day arrived and a location was announced. Jake's Grill. Never heard of it before, but supposedly they have "Great Seafood!" So I googled it. Found the location (10 blocks from work, awesome.) and perused the menu. Some nice looking stuff, some expensive stuff, but still... Not too bad, and I wasn't buying. And away we went.

Very elegant and quite fancy I must say. The waitress was knowledgeable and quick. The menu looked nice. The place was neither empty or crowded and the accoustics were such that we didn't have to yell to hear each other. We went around the table and the orders went like this:
"I'll have the chicken fettuccini" No seafood, but okay.
"I'll have the french dip." What?
"Ooh, that sounds good, I'll have that too." What!? What about the "Great Seafood!" they talked about earlier?

I decided to have some fish, the Tuesday blueplate special in fact. "Herb Horseradish Crusted Atlantic Salmon with summer vegetable medley and roasted red peper risotto cake." Sounds good right? Mmmm horseradish crusted...

I got a salad with my lunch and requested the house made roquefort dressing on the side. Very, very tasty with a nice horseradish kick of its own. When my entree came I was excited, it looked so pretty, bright vegetables, lovely crust on the salmon, pretty sauce decoration... The rissotto cake threw me off a bit, but I've never been a fan of cubes of rice. Reminds me of Chinese takeout fried rice that's been in the box too long.

I picked up my fork, flaked into the salmon, tried a bite... And almost cried. The crust was soggy and flavorless. The fish was nice, but it was just salmon. I couldn't taste any herbs let alone any horseradish... I longed for at least a lemon wedge to brighten things up a bit. It went downhill from there. The summer vegetable medley consisted of a quartered orange carrot, a sliced on the bias yellow carrot, half of an asparagus stalk, and maybe three bell pepper slices all either cooked to mush or still crunchy raw. The rissotto was overdone and oddly sweet from the pepper. All together the best part of my meal was the salad that came before hand. The fish was nicely cooked at least, just... Flavorless.

All together kind of a let down. Which makes me sad.