Do you guys have Burger??

Apocalypse Mom, Redneck Widow, and Ginger Ninja all walk into a Walmart in the middle of the night. Sounds like the opening to a bad joke? Keep reading it gets worse.

So, many of us have problems with crowds around the holidays as people become rampant A-Holes and forget a little thing called mutual respect. So we avoid the holiday crowds in certain places. Luckily for us these places are generally open 24 hours a day. So, when we needed a last minute Wal-Mart trip, we decided to leave the house about 10:30 at night. No big deal, midnight wal-mart trips are usually cause for much hilarity around here. We put on our best PJ's, afix our worst southern accents and head out of the house giggling like crazy people. :) (Which is to say, we get up from wherever we're sitting and hop into the car.)

After about an hour and a half inside the Mart of Wal, we decide we have had enough but we should grab midnight munchies on the way home. Ginger Ninja has a craving for Burger King and there is one in the parking lot of our friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart... Handy that. So, we pull into the drive thru, commenting on how nice it is that they cover their ordering station. We listen to the opening pitch of guess what we have on sale, and we proceed to order.

"Hi, can we get an Angry Whopper with Chicken instead of Beef please?" I ask of the nice speaker that is blinking please order when ready at me.

"No!" It says back without hesitation

"Wait, what? Excuse me? Did you say No?" I ask, shocked.

"Yeah," Come this teeny bopper voice. "We're not allowed to do that, and I don't have any chicken. We turned off our broiler already."

"Your drive thru is open 24 hours, right?" I ask in confusion

"Well, Yeah," comes the reply, as if I am stupid cause I don't get it.

"Nevermind." I said as I pulled around and ignored her as we pulled away. Up the freeway we sped to the next Burger King between us and home. We pull in and are greeted by a friendly voice. I ask again:

"Can we get an Angry Whopper with chicken instead of Beef?"

"Oh yeah, but we're out of burger."

"What?"

"We don't have any patties."

"What do you have?"

"Chicken, and anything deep fried."

"Right, of course." I look at the girls expectantly, Apocalypse Mom shrugs while Ginger frowns at me, she has her heart set on a Whopper.

"Alright, nevermind, have a great night."

So up we drive to the very last Burger King between us and home, get to the drive through and ask my favorite question I have ever asked a fast food restaurant drive thru!

"So, do you actually have burgers?"

"Well, um... yes?" Answers the poor kid behind the speaker.

"Can I get an Angry Whopper with Chicken instead of Beef?"

"Yes, but we don't need burger to do that." answers who I assume is the manager. He sounds very amused.

"Awesome..." So then I begin to rattle off our order. To the nice man's credit, he got everything right.

So, kids, the moral of this story is that if you get midnight munchies and absolutely need Burger King, I wholeheartedly recommend the one at 122nd and Division! It is a good place and they are good at their jobs. Today, in cooperation with 99.5 The Wolf, a percentage of all their proceeds went to Dornbechers Children's Hospital!  So go there and spend money!